Nintendo’s video games have always been known for having some of the most unusual and disorienting television ads. For example, anyone subject to this 90’s Zelda commercial, featuring dance moves that would put M.C. Hammer to shame, would probably have no idea what to expect out of the actual game.
Keeping in line with tradition, Nintendo of Japan has released a wonderful collection of television ads which can be too easily misinterpreted. Let’s have a look and see if we can figure out exactly what features the new 3DS will have!
Possibly Misinterpreted Features
- From 8 seconds into the video, we can assume the 3DS makes use of some sort of wireless charging dock. The 3DS may also have control over the curtains or lights in your room, as it appears the room illuminates when it knows it’s time to wake up and play.
- At 31 seconds, we see the 3DS exchanging what appears to be glowing ribbons with complete strangers without the owners’ awareness or authorization. Sounds safe enough.
- It becomes apparent at 38 and 48 seconds that only owners of the 3DS are real people. People who do not own a 3DS don’t have a face, body, or soul; they only have outlines.
- 1 Minute into the video, we see that perhaps those glowing ribbons that the 3DS wireless sends to strangers’ 3DSs contain personal information about the players. Fantastic. Some people love have complete strangers’ useless personal information in their games.
- 1:18 into the video, we are pretty certain now that people without a 3DS don’t have a soul. They only exist as hollow statues to fill in the background of the much more interesting lives of people who do own one.
- At 1:31, the lady in the video apparently becomes bored with the 3D simulation dog, so she goes on the internet to find a real one. She then realizes how difficult it would be having a real pet and perform real world social interaction, so she gives up and goes back to playing her game.
- 1:51 into the ad and we see now that placing playing cards in front of the 3DS causes a strange looking dragon seemingly with special disabilities to attack the user of the 3DS. Coincidentally, this is a good thing, and everyone nearby has a good time.
- At 2:20, it is revealed that little men are living inside th 3DS, and will wirelessly do battle with strangers, again without the owner’s authorization, until one of those little men are killed. At this point, the owner of the losing 3DS forfeits his or her soul, and must purchase a new 3DS if he would like to continue being trendy.
- At 2:38, it appears that the 3DS is capable of inflicting physical pain upon the user, creating an all-immersive gaming experience.
- At 2:45, we see features that assist old people with understanding that they are playing a video game by taking their photograph and placing a clone of them inside the game. At 2:49, grandpa appears to be terrified, then happy shortly afterward.
- With the screen at 3:07, we have a number that may either represent the user having taken 587,682 footsteps, or caught that many butterflies. It’s hard to tell from the indicator graphic.
- Lastly, at 3:18, it is confirmed that setting the 3DS on its charging dock turns the lights off in the room. It should be interpreted that as long as your are awake during the day, you should be playing your Nintendo 3DS.
All kidding aside, Nintendo’s new 3DS is set to revolutionize the gaming industry. Along with its 3D photo taking capabilities, who knows what other impacts the 3DS will have on 3D photo imaging! Stay tuned for the latest developments!